Tips of the Month — Families

Ask women what core value they recall their families emphasizing as they were growing up. A majority are likely to say: be nice. It’s a message especially conveyed to girls. What does it mean to be nice? Children easily understand it to mean, Don’t make others uncomfortable by asserting yourself — your needs, thoughts, and feelings; people might not like what they hear.   Be nice shapes girls to be people-pleasers. 

If the thought of adolescence is enough to turn your stomach, here's something to chew on: eating meals with your teenager may enhance his or her well-being.  Researchers at the University of Minnesota found that the more often adolescents ate with their families, the less likely they were to perform poorly at school, feel depressed or suicidal, and use tobacco, alcohol, and marijuana.  

Here’s an easy way to boost your child’s emotional intelligence (EQ): teach them about the loss-sadness connection. 

Classes are resuming this time of year, and so are... mistakes.  Mistakes? 

“Our ability to hurt each other is enormous, but nowhere is it more powerful than in families, so nowhere are apologies more frequently needed — and resisted."1 

 Scrolling through social media takes up a significant amount of time in the lives of our tweens and teens — whether we like it or not. While conversations with our sons and daughters about some of the ill effects of social media have never been more important (see Toxic Comparisons), talking about online risks and safety should be part of your family chats.

When so many cultural trends have shaped us into creatures who move fast — and who want everyone and everything around us to move fast, too — can we reasonably expect ourselves to slow down? It may be reaching for the stars to harbor this wish, but it could make a world of difference in our effectiveness as parents.  

Do your kids hear voices? Of course they do. They hear your voice. What you say to them — especially what you say repeatedly — lodges in their brain and echoes at key moments throughout their lives. In time, the words that originally were yours will come to seem to them so familiar — so automatic — that they won’t differentiate between your words and theirs.