Tips of the Month — Families

Few parents are emotionally honest with kids when they speak unkindly. “You’re such a miserable mother,” snaps a teenage daughter, and we sharply retort with “Don’t talk to me that way!” Or a pre-school age son shouts, “You’re stupid!” and we say, “What did I tell you about language like that?” The story we tell ourselves may be that our son is overtired from a very long day, or our daughter is stressed out with too much homework. Essentially, we give their misbehavior a…

Reports of a youth anxiety epidemic are highly exaggerated, according to research. But in the face of much media coverage, we are understandably alarmed when our children exhibit or even utter the word anxiety. In this era of “I just want my kids to be happy,” we rush to rescue and shield, fending off whatever seems to unsettle our little (and not-so-little) ones. That may be the epidemic.

If you find yourself sandwiched between two generations — your children and your aging parents — do all that you can to nurture their connection.1 With some exceptions, grandparents can deliver to grand-kids the unconditional love — and more — that can make an important contribution to a child's life. Particularly during times of family upheaval such as divorce, remarriage or illness, or when faced with their own challenging personal experiences, kids may find it easier to…

Whether it's soccer, baseball, gymnastics or any of the sports our children participate in, we want them to enjoy athletics. We want them to have a good time pursuing the activity they love. But the joy of competitive sports — whether during elementary, high school or college years — easily dissipates when youth find themselves unduly stressed by their own perfectionism, a burdensome sense of obligation to fulfill the expectations of parents or coaches, or a loss of balance…

Settling youngsters down to sleep at night isn't always easy. Recent research suggests that the amount of exposure children have to bright light in the hour leading up to bedtime — whether emanating from light bulbs or electronic devices — can have a big impact on sleep-related behavior.

Nearly 3% of teenagers between the ages of 13-18 — boys as well as girls — struggle with food, weight and body image issues severe enough to constitute an eating disorder.1 Such disorders (anorexia, bulimia, binge eating) seriously affect both physical and mental health, and in some instances can be life-threatening. 

"Do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear?" Lao Tzu How many times a day do your children say or do something that bothers you — words or actions you know are wrong or simply irritating? And how often do you quickly correct or scold? If you’re like most parents, you intervene fast. Are you reacting or responding?   Our best parenting rarely happens when we react. Reacting comes from the emotional brain, shaped by evolution to move…

Researchers at the University of Texas and the University of Michigan reviewed fifty years of studies representing the findings across more than 160,000 children. What they found was that the more children are spanked, the more likely they are to show aggressive and anti-social behavior and to manifest mental health and cognitive difficulties. These researchers concluded that spanking harms children in ways not unlike the harm from physical abuse.