Ways to Express You're Sorry Beyond an Apology

“I’m sorry” doesn’t always end couple conflict in a satisfying way. Often something more is needed, an expression in words or actions that speaks to and “corrects” the underlying experience of one or both partners.

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How to Avoid a Fight? Observe Yourself and Be Present

“My friend Caroline is driving me crazy,” your partner reports, exasperated. “She keeps pushing me to go shopping again, but I don’t have her endless energy for that.” Quickly, you’re poised to suggest a way she can beg off on her friend’s invitation.

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Embracing Pluralism: The Future of Relationships | TEDxRushU

With marriage rates on the decline in the US and abroad, what does the future of romantic relationship look like? Rather than predicting the death of marriage, Dr. Goldsmith talks about the rise of pluralism; the idea that there is more than one right way of doing relationships. Considering the history of relationships as well as present trends, Dr.

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The More Sex the Better?

Sex is like money; only too much is enough — John Updike

It’s a popular notion that couples who engage in more sex are more content in their relationship than couples who engage in less. But is it true? Perhaps sex operates like money. In that area, research has revealed that the greater one’s family income, the higher the level of reported satisfaction — but only to a point. Beyond a certain income level, more money doesn’t enhance satisfaction. Could it be that way when it comes to sex?
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Small Gestures Can Deliver Big Results

Thank You

Once relationships pass through the early honeymoon and romance phase, it’s easy for us to take for granted the qualities in a partner that we appreciated early on. We can forget what once seemed special, focusing instead on traits and behaviors we now find annoying and unattractive.
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Slow Down to Keep Your Emotions in Check

The Mind’s Traffic*

It’s our fast reactions that get us into trouble: “I can’t believe you did such a stupid thing!” or “What the hell were you thinking?” or “You’re a real ____!” When words erupt quickly, it’s the emotional brain reacting, not the logical brain responding.

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Give Your Brain Some Rest

What, Be Still?

Imagine sitting quietly in a room for ten minutes, doing nothing but being still. Could you — or your kids — handle it? Or would you, if given the option, self-administer electric shocks as a preferred alternative?
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Listening with Your Third Ear

We all have a Third Ear, but we don’t always use it. The Third Ear hears beyond the surface words to a spouse’s underlying mood or emotions. With our Third Ear we’re like an audience listening while staying in our seats, never climbing onto the stage to join the drama.
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Being Honest is Hard, But Necessary

Unleash Vitality

Is the relationship too flat and lifeless, lacking vitality? Maybe you’re not telling the truth often enough. Most of us hate to make waves; we strive to avoid conflict, even mild friction. In our determination to keep tension to a minimum, we step away from being honest when we suspect that honesty might agitate otherwise calm waters.
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New Way to Improve Communication with Your Partner: Avoid Pseudo-listening

How to 'Get It'

Ask your partner if you’re a good listener. For most of us, it’s often hard to accurately grasp the main idea, particularly during a difficult conversation. And it’s harder still when we’re pseudo-listening...
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